


A New Morning

by mansikka



Series: Filling In The Gaps [9]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 03:18:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14096001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: Episode tag for Morning Star





	A New Morning

"I need to speak to Mom," Alec says, still staring after his dad. This is all so _much_. He doesn't regret a moment of it, but the fallout is going to happen anyway, regret or not. He kind of wants to face all her wrath now, get it over with, though knows any burst of anger he receives won't be her last.

"Of course," Magnus agrees, "though perhaps just a few more minutes for her to calm."

"If I leave her enough time to calm, the world might stop turning first."

"Perhaps."

Alec turns to Magnus then, and though he's smiling, there's something not quite right about the look he's giving him. He should probably tell _Magnus_ he doesn't regret this, but before the words form something else occurs to him.

"Your friend. Ragnor," Alec says as soft as he can make his voice, knowing he's got it right for the way Magnus' smile falters. "Jace told me—"

"Yes, well—"

"Come with me. Please," Alec asks, gesturing for the direction for them to go. He leads them a little away from the control room to a small hallway where no one else is likely to follow.

"Alec—"

Alec cuts Magnus off with probably the most awkward hug of his life. He wraps his arms around him and holds on tight, blushing for the way Magnus has to untuck from his chest to get his arms around his waist. But Magnus holds on, sighing against him, letting his head drop on to Alec's shoulder. And it feels _good_ to hold him, Alec thinks. His heart may be hammering and he's not entirely sure what he's doing, but this feels good, even with Magnus still trembling.

"I'm sorry about Ragnor," he says, and feels Magnus shuffle a little closer, so wraps his arms a little tighter.

"Thank you," Magnus replies, his voice quiet, and muffled, the vulnerability in it making Alec wants to ask him to portal them away so Magnus can talk about it properly.

"Magnus, I—"

"I think I need a little more time to… get used to the idea of him being gone," Magnus says, pulling back to smile at him. He isn't ready to talk about it, Alec realizes, and nods, smiling back.

"Then… later, when you feel like it. Maybe you can tell me about him. If you want."

"I would like that," Magnus tells him, seeming surprised.

This is the wrong moment, the timing is terrible, and there are so many other things that probably need to be done. But Alec has to kiss Magnus, now, before he loses his nerve or gets caught up in whatever other battles are coming for him today. Magnus sighs his way into it, leaning against him, and Alec allows himself to sweep his hands awkwardly over his back. He wants more, want to turn them so he can back Magnus up against the wall behind them. But this is new, and it's so _much_ , and he has to stop himself before he gets completely carried away.

When he pulls back Alec smiles for Magnus following his lips again, knows the smile on his face must look ridiculous, and leans in for one very quick kiss back. The smile it puts on Magnus' face is worth it, Alec thinks.

"I really need to talk to Mom," Alec says with a sigh, squeezing at Magnus' waist before dragging his hands away.

"I suppose you do."

"Do you wanna come with? Or go somewhere? Or—"

"You could come and find me here."

"Magnus," Alec laughs, "I don't expect you to just… stand here—"

"I could do with a few minutes," Magnus says with a raise of his hand.

Alec nods, itching to reach out for him again but forces himself not to, knowing if he keeps _taking_ he's not going to stop. "Okay. I'll be quick."

"Take whatever time you need, Alec," Magnus smiles, absently straightening up Alec's shirt, "I'm not going anywhere."

The idea makes Alec smile even harder, and it's still on his face when he leaves Magnus, running down the short flight of stairs to find his mom.

"Have you spoken with Lydia?" he says without even pausing to let other words form. "No one's seen her since the wedding." Mom won't even look at him, and it hurts, it really hurts. But Alec won't take back what he's done, not even if it was possible to do so. "Mom, come on."

"Maryse."

At least his dad isn't completely turning his back on him, Alec thinks, sneaking a glance at him to attempt to gauge what he's thinking.

"Mom, I understand you're upset, but this is—"

"Calling off the wedding would've been one thing," she says, turning to look at him as though she doesn't _see_ him at all. "But kissing that _warlock_ in front of the entire Institute? You've embarrassed all of us."

"Why? Because he's a guy?" Alec retorts, because that's the thing that's been holding him back from being honest all these years.

"No. The fact that he is _a guy_ , as you say, is the least of my worries."

Alec's lost, and has no idea what that means. He's expecting disapproval because being gay is something frowned on by the Clave, and okay, now he reminders himself of it, Magnus _is_ a Downworlder. But it's not like he remembers that when he's with him. Magnus doesn't seem any different to anyone else Alec knows, there's nothing that stands out about him _being_ different to them.

Alec looks to his dad for guidance then back to his mom. "Then what's the problem?"

"That you chose _Magnus Bane_ ," she retorts, full of disdain.

"His reputation precedes him," Dad adds. "And even for a warlock, he's a bit of a lothario. Alec, there's so much that you don't know about him."

"Well, then I plan to _get_ to know him," Alec replies, "and if you have a problem with that, then I suggest you deal with it."

He will not be put off by their words. And besides, he thinks he already knows Magnus a little better than his parents do. He's spent more time in Magnus' company than either of them have outside of the Institute; even if it is just a few hours. He learned enough about Magnus in that evening he'd spent in his apartment to know Magnus' _reputation_ in the Clave's records isn't anywhere near accurate, or thorough.

"Now, I have to go find Lydia," Alec adds, because he does, there are apologies he needs to make even though he knows this is the right decision. Even if she didn't hesitate or try to convince him out of it. 

"She's probably packing for Idris in your father's office. What she did—"

"Saved my life," Alec says, cutting her off. It's nothing but the truth. Now that he's on the other side of it, Alec can't even picture what his life would have been like with Lydia, living a lie. "So I should go _thank_ her."

Alec leaves before he can say anything else, and makes his way back to Magnus; already standing close to where he needs to be to find Lydia. That Magnus is pacing with his own nerves eases a little of the tension his mother has put in his spine, but Alec still feels like he's got too much to process.

"On a scale of one to ten… how unpleasant was it?"

"Off the charts," Alec replies, slumping back against the wall. "Yeah, I've never seen them so angry."

"Just give them some time."

Alec looks at Magnus then and wants to roll his eyes. "You're immortal. Time is on your side."

Magnus looks nervous, but Alec has to keep moving.

"After what I did… I don't think they'll ever forgive me."

"Don't underestimate a parent's love," Magnus says as they round the corner.

Alec doesn't know if that applies to his parents, but doesn't answer out loud. He turns though, still sensing Magnus' nervousness.

"You don't regret it, do you?" Magnus asks.

"Everything happened so fast," Alec replies, his mother's disapproval playing on repeat in his head. "I didn't have time to think."

Magnus looks worried again, and Alec knows he can take that worry from him from just telling him he doesn't regret it. But there are so many overlapping thoughts in his head.

"I just wanna make sure Lydia's okay. Now I owe her so much."

"We owe her," Magnus replies, and it's odd, but good, to feel someone is on his side in this, will go through this with him. "What she did was nothing short of heroic."

It's good, Alec thinks, but he still feels lost. He still isn't sure what he's thinking, and though he doesn't want to take anything back, doesn't want to consider he's made a mistake, there are still doubts whispering at him no matter how much he tries to ignore them.

"Hey, look," Magnus says, perhaps sensing his unease, "maybe we can slow things down? Why don't we start with that date you owe me?"

They haven't exactly _rushed_ , Alec thinks, even though, in some ways they have. But if Magnus is prepared to take this slowly, then that's all the encouragement he needs.

"Yeah," he says, smiling, "let's do that."

Magnus begins telling him about what Alec thinks is a restaurant as they walk into his dad's office, Alec's heart leaping up in his throat for the sight of Lydia sprawled out on the floor.

* * *

To walk in and find Magnus kissing _Camille_ makes Alec's blood boil, but he tries to talk himself into being calm since there are so many other things to deal with. Magnus is nervous, fluttery, and Camille smug; Alec already can tell the kiss wasn't initiated by Magnus, but he still feels weird for it, flitting his eyes over Magnus and wondering if he even has the right yet to feel the jealousy that's blooming in him.

Magnus' efforts to make it clear to him that he wanted nothing to do with this should probably endear him, but Alec is furious for it, scowling when Magnus attempts to turn things into a joke.

"I don't have time for this. Where's Clary?" Alec asks as Izzy, Camille, and Magnus seem to be clambering to make the most noise. It's not even that he's throwing himself into work to avoid talking about it; Jace is with Valentine, and that changes everything. He has to get back his parabatai and the Mortal Cup.

* * *

Camille's apartment is impressive, and even Alec's eyes are drawn to the wall of books, tempted to search through the shelves and lose himself in something. But he reminds himself he isn't here for distractions. They need to find this book, find the spell, and wake up Jocelyn as soon as they can. He keeps next to Magnus though, needing the closeness, and needing to keep Camille away from Magnus. He feels possessive, and doesn't like the feeling, but still can't force himself to stand anywhere else.

"Let's check the perimeter," Alec says, suddenly needing them to be elsewhere.

"Good idea," Magnus replies immediately, gesturing a direction for him to go, and before Alec can get very far Magnus is opening a door and gently shoving at his arm to go through.

"You know this place?"

"Alec—"

"I mean, it makes sense if you were together—"

"I don't want to talk about Camille," Magnus says, his voice coming out high with tension.

"Magnus—"

Magnus surges towards him, cutting him off with a kiss that Alec instantly sinks into, immediately wrapping his arms around his back. They mold together shuffling ever closer, and this kiss is more intense than the others have been, with Alec raising a shaky hand up to cup the back of Magnus' head.

Magnus moans for the contact, and it sends a tremble straight through Alec, hitting him with the need to get even closer still. Alec gasps in surprise for the thud of his back against the nearest bookcase, gripping on to Magnus tight.

"Alec—"

"Don't wanna hear it," Alec blasts back at him pulling him into another kiss. Magnus wants to talk about _Camille_ , and though Alec convinced himself for several seconds otherwise, he is impacted by her words.

Magnus kisses back with enthusiasm, leaning harder against him, and Alec thinks this is a much better idea than doing something like _talk_. But then the door crashes open, and two Circle members are in and grabbing them to drag them out, restraining them as they shove them back through to the entrance of the apartment.

Chaos descends, or rather has done in their absence. Jace is here out of nowhere, as is Valentine, and some more of his crew. And then Jace is stepping through the portal, Alec's having to grab Clary to stop her launching herself through a portal, and their entire world is a mess yet again. Alec wants to yell internally for just five minutes of peace.

* * *

"I know you don't want to hear it, so I'll just say it once."

Alec stares back at Magnus, leaning on a wall opposite where Magnus is standing, in another small hallway in the Institute where he hopes they won't be disturbed. There have already been too many strained conversations between them today, and Alec for a way to stop time, concentrate on this instead of everything else. But he doesn't say a word, just waits for Magnus to keep talking.

"Whatever I felt for Camille, it's ancient history. Almost literally."

"Yeah, but what she said about you being immortal… she's right," Alec counters, and wonders why Magnus' immortality hasn't truly entered his thoughts until now. "You watch the people you care about age and die."

It's a horrifying thought. Alec can't imagine what it must be like to care for someone and have to watch them fade away, and there being nothing you can do about it.

"Alexander, I may be the High Warlock of Brooklyn, but… even I can't see the future."

Which is fair, Alec thinks, even if right now there's no more space for him hear new things.

He's saved, he supposes, by the appearance of Luke calling Magnus to perform the spell on Jocelyn. Alec has too much to think about, takes a few seconds for himself before following. He wants Magnus, he wants to try to _be_ with Magnus, bats away the reminder yet again of it being too soon. But he's also scared of wanting Magnus. Alec is utterly clueless when it comes to relationships, and it's just dawning on him now that there is so much more experience that Magnus has than he does himself.

But he wants to try this, Alec thinks, realizing the truth of his thoughts again. He wants to try this, and he wants to know more about Magnus. Just as soon as they have the time.


End file.
